For many of us, our pets are part of the family. They feature in family photos, offer us comfort in times of need and form part of the rough and tumble of family life. When a pet dies, it can be devastating – especially if you have children, or live alone.
The loss of a pet can be a child’s first experience of grief. When a pet dies, the way the adults handle it can help your child learn how to deal with loss in a healthy way.
For households which are exclusively adults, when a pet dies you may be taken by surprise at the depth of your grief. Pets are companions, and as such, meet emotional needs. We love our pets, and so when they die, we feel it deeply. This is not inappropriate, it’s a normal response.
In a Pet’s Last Days
If you know in advance that your pet is going to pass, spending time with them in their last days can help you to show care and love towards them. Taking some photos will help you in days to come, after they have died. Your vet will be able to advise you about being with your pet in their last moments if that is scheduled to happen in the vet’s office. They will also have information about what to do with your pet’s body if they pass at home.
After You Pet Dies
Grieving the loss of your pet is normal. It is natural to feel sad and to cry. Being with other people who can give you comfort is a good thing to arrange, especially if you live alone. A small ceremony with your pet’s nearest and dearest will help you say goodbye.
If your child is grieving the loss of a pet, offer them cuddles and some down time. It is not unreasonable to have time away from school if your child has been distressed overnight and had a bad night’s sleep.
A rest day for the whole family can give the opportunity to look at photos, share memories and process their emotions. It may take time before you’re ready to pack away your pet’s toys, feed bowls and bedding. There’s no rush to do this. However, if you want to do this quickly, that’s quite OK, too.
How Long Should You Wait Before Getting a New Pet?
When a pet dies, it can be tempting to ‘fix’ the loss by introducing a new pet to your family. The timing of when to bring a new pet home is entirely up to you and will be different in each case.
However, the new animal will not replace the one that is no longer with you. Ensure that you have grieved the loss of your pet well and have come to terms with it before getting a new one.
In conclusion, when a pet dies, talking about them, remembering them and sharing stories with others who knew them are good ways to process your grief. When you reach a stage of feeling grateful for them being part of your story, and can think of them fondly without being greatly upset, you’ll know you’re on the way to coming to terms with the grief.
