I grew up in a church-attending family. Serving others was presented as an expression of love towards God. I also learned a little song called JOY. It goes like this:
J O Y, J O Y, this must surely mean;
Jesus first,
Yourself last;
And others in between.
It’s an interesting concept based on a hierarchy of needs that puts everybody else’s needs above your own. Coupled with an interpretation of the Bible which places high value on dying to ourselves and ‘in order to gain life, we need to lose it’, is it any wonder that being a good and faithful servant can come at the cost of our energy, health and overall wellbeing. It may be that in such systems, self-care is viewed as selfish.
How can we hold in balance the call of Christ to serve others and the need for self-care in order to serve others?
Perhaps thinking about our lives as circles rather than ladders would be useful. The needs of others move in and out of the circle of our life and we choose to address those needs dependent upon the resources we have available at that time. Serving God, rather than being at the top of the ladder, can be expressed in everyday, common tasks. God becomes central in our lives, in and through all of our activities. This includes ensuring we have rivers of living waters running through us. Caring for others out of a dry and dusty well is not useful for anyone!
Jesus himself took time away from the pressing throngs to spend time in prayer, reflection and to recover from assisting others. It’s not sinful or selfish to ensure that we are in a good place physically, emotionally and spiritually. It takes mental strength, physical health and emotional reserve to be of most help to others.
Your family, spouse and those you serve deserve more than the dregs of your energy. You might be able to fit a lot of activities into one day. You may have the physical hours to see an extra client. You could run on less sleep in order to complete a task. BUT, do you approach the last client in the same way as the first one, the last task with as much energy as the first? Does the last get the best of you?
Service coming from an empty place can not give the same level of support as service from a place of abundance. Those you serve need your service, but they also deserve the best you.
Self-care that refreshes and re-energises you is an investment with manifold returns. However, it will mean saying no to other worthy activities. Boundaries and self-care go hand in hand. Know how to read your personal signs of fatigue. When you’re short tempered with others, physically tired, get annoyed when people ask for help or experience compassion fatigue. These are signs that it is time to stop giving and to receive instead.
When we view taking care of ourselves as an act of stewardship rather than a selfish indulgence, we can engage whole-heartedly in self-care, resting in God’s care as we do. This is an act of worship equal to singing a song of gratitude or loving our neighbours.
