People often say they don’t know what to say when someone is grieving, and so they don’t say anything at all. The same could be said for people who get a life changing diagnosis, who separate from their partner or face any kind of emotional pain.
Carefully asking questions is a skill that comes in handy in these situations. How you ask a question is as important as the question itself. And listening to the answer can be more important than the question you ask.
The combination of a great question asked in a sensitive manner with the intent to listen to the answer, is a gift. When this gift is offered, the other person often responds with a reflective answer. Great questions convey compassion and great listening communicates that you care.
1 Corinthians 12 is a well-known Bible passage which is often read at weddings. I’ve taken the liberty of adapting it.
What if I could speak all languages of humans and of angels?
If I did not listen to others, I would be nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
What if I could prophesy and understand all secrets and all knowledge? And what if I had faith that moved mountains? I would be nothing, unless I listened to others.
What if I gave away all that I owned and let myself be burned alive? I would gain nothing unless I listened to others.
Listening is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud or rude. Listening isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.
Listening rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.
Listening is always supportive, loyal, hopeful and trusting.
Listening never fails!
When you don’t know what to say, it’s not a bad thing to limit your words. Instead, LISTEN. Listening well is an expression of love. If you can learn to ask great questions in a sensitive way, you can be a gift to someone’s life.
